IMPERFECT
by Mmlikestowrite
Summary: Donna is dating Thomas Kessler and it's going well... really well. Even Harvey knows that Thomas is the kind of guy smart women deserve to be with. Can Harvey compete with Mr. Perfect and prove to Donna that although he's far from perfect, he's perfect for her?
1. Chapter 1

**IMPERFECT CHAPTER 1**

She forgot his birthday. It's almost laughable that it bothers him. A wistful smile forces its way onto Harvey's mouth now. Their tradition wasn't so much about celebrating his birthday, as about him cringing because of whatever ridiculous thing she'd planned.

Every year, he'd act annoyed, as if her efforts were irritating, but they both knew better. It's what they did. Just one of many little games they played over the years, designed to keep their tether in check.

He'll always remember that time at the DA's office when Donna forced him to wear a stupid tinsel party hat. Then, she and Bertha sang "Happy Birthday" at the top of their lungs, while delivering a flaming piece of chocolate cake to his desk. He was horrified at the silliness of it all, but it got to him. She got to him.

And how could he forget that birthday morning she met him at the elevator? Greeting him with a seductive French accent, cup of coffee in one hand and gourmet bagel in the other. The bread had a terrible pink candle on it. Wax dripping all over the shiny doughy top and solidifying against the froth of the cream cheese. He ate it anyway. She was excited and he wasn't about to disappoint her. So, he ate it.

His 40th was certainly memorable. She presented him with a giant "Happy Birthday from All of Us" card. Signatures and well wishes from all 122 employees, half of whom he doesn't even know. Donna spent the entire week harassing staff and following that damn card from office to office and cubicle to cubicle. He recoils now at the thought of it, and all that birthday attention from his colleagues. Even so, she worked hard for that, so it's tucked away somewhere in his closet.

Then there's the annual birthday dinner. Donna would never let him escape without a night at Del Posto. He chuckles to himself about how she would insist on paying, even though money has always been fluid between them. "It's the principle…," she'd explain, determined to have him order whatever he wanted. Donna knew he would temper his choices if she was paying.

Harvey scans the darkening New York City skyline, and lets out a long, reflective sigh.

One day he'll turn 50. Admittedly, he still has a few years left before that milestone, but Donna teased that, when he does, she'll hire a stripper. He's been secretly looking forward to it. Not the stripper, not at all, but to see if she actually would. Because if she does, it will mean she's still in his life in a meaningful way. And that's all he wants at 50.

Images of past birthdays flash across his mind's eye now. Anniversaries were always more important to Donna than to him. Her eyes wide and excited as she's presented him with a variety candle-lit treats over the years – bagels, pieces of cake, coffee cart brownies and, once, a take-out container of shitty Pad Thai.

"Make a wish!" she'd insist with a high-pitched voice. He always did. It's the same one every year. A wish that she's here forever. That she'll never leave.

His jaw now tensed, Harvey slouches further onto his couch and pulls out his phone. Friday night, eight fifteen. Messages and texts. Surely, she'd at least leave him a birthday voicemail. He scrolls through… Mom, Marcus and Mike. Nope. Nothing. He swallows down the disappointment, and nervously taps his foot to release the growing tightness in his chest.

So she forgot one birthday… the night's not over yet, he tells himself.

Harvey really shouldn't be surprised. Since Donna started seeing Thomas, she's been in her own world. She and her perfect man have been in their own bubble, actually. Fancy dinners, theatre, a weekend in the Hamptons and another in Palm Springs. Harvey is grateful he hasn't had to hear the gory details, but he knows he's staring down the barrel of a gun. She's slipping away and time is running out.

Swirling the scotch in his tumbler, Harvey tries to string together the memories and events that brought them here. They're supposed to be together by now. Mike once called them "end game". Deep down, he's always believed that. He thought she did, too.

She's sacrificed her career and risked her freedom for him. He's traded cases for her. Even left a relationship to keep her near. And when she resigned, he ripped that possibility to shreds. They've always taken care of each other… and that night she took a chance... she knows damn well he kissed her back.

How can she not want this, not want him now? They've been stoking this fire for years. All he needed was just a little more time so he could gather the courage to tell her. He was working up to that, he really was. Then, out of the blue, along comes Thomas. And within minutes, he pisses on that flame, extinguishing it and leaving Harvey to deal with the ashes.

 _Thomas Kessler_.

The problem with Thomas is that there's no problem with Thomas. He's pretty much perfect. Harvey would even say a little too perfect. Or maybe he's just jealous. The guy's good-looking, charming, attentive and a savvy businessman. If Harvey were honest about it, he couldn't imagine a better fit for Donna, or for any smart woman, really.

And he's noticed that Donna has never looked happier… she's practically glowing. Since Thomas captured her heart, there hasn't been a day where Harvey hasn't seen her smile. A genuine, honest-to-goodness, I-love-my-life smile.

Harvey wants Donna to be happy. He really does. And if he has to live with this, he'll find a way… eventually. But right now… now that she's forgotten his birthday… He. Just. Can't.

The sudden knock at the door echoes through his penthouse with a thud, and Harvey nearly drops his drink.

 _She did remember._ Relieved, a tiny smile forms on his lips as he heads for the door.

"Happy Birthday, Harvey!"

Louis.

Still in a suit and tie, his colleague has evidently come straight from the office. Stepping in, he hands Harvey a new bottle of his favourite scotch, a red ribbon tied around its neck.

"This is for you. I wasn't sure if you had plans, but I thought I'd take a chance and drop in," Louis says, with a wide toothy grin.

Even though he manages a thankful smile in return, Harvey's eyes can't hide his disappointment.

"I'm just drinking… drinking and thinking," Harvey says flatly, as he leads Louis into his penthouse. "Can I pour you one?"

"Sure… You ok, Harvey?" Louis asks with a furrowed brow. "You know, at your age, making it through another year is worth celebrating."

Harvey offers a half-hearted chuckle as he hands Louis the glass. " _Our_ age, Louis. You're older than me, remember?"

Harvey drops onto the sofa and Louis sits in the chair opposite him.

"So… " Louis begins. "I'm surprised you didn't have plans tonight. Friday night, eligible bachelor, on your birthday..."

"What can I say, Kate Upton is on a photo shoot and Scarlett Johansson is doing a movie, so I'm laying low tonight," he smirks.

Louis offers an agreeable nod, but he sees right through this talk. Since he's been with Sheila, his eyes have been opened to exactly what Harvey is doing. In fact, he's been guilty of this behaviour himself… putting on a brave face while trying to swallow down the pain. He's not exactly sure what's going on with his friend and colleague, but the timing of Harvey's mood is telling.

Ever since Donna started dating Thomas, Harvey has been different, quieter. He keeps to himself at the office and doesn't challenge Louis the way he has in the past. Doesn't brag about winning or closing or playing the man or any of the shit that only Harvey Specter can do.

In team meetings, Louis has also noticed that Donna and Harvey no longer banter like before. It once was a distracting part of their meetings, but now it's all business. And at the end of the day, Donna leaves as soon as she can, while Harvey stays as long as possible.

"Alright Harvey, I'm going to get right down to it," the managing partner asserts. "What's wrong?"

Harvey takes a sip of his drink, waiting for it to burn its way down, and then he looks away.

"Nothing's wrong, Louis," he denies, licking his lips. "Just don't love birthdays."

"Well, you haven't been loving birthdays for quite a while then," Louis volleys back. "You've been different."

"Have I? I thought you'd be happy that I'm not giving you trouble. Thought I was doing you a favour." Harvey stands and walks towards the bar cart to replenish his drink. He also needs the distraction.

"You're upset," Louis states matter-of-factly, turning in his chair, his eyes following Harvey across the room.

"Not upset, Louis. You can stand down," he says, returning the top to the crystal decanter.

"Jesus, Harvey, we've been in therapy together," Louis reminds him. "Just tell me… What the hell is up with you?"

With his back to Louis, and eyes fixed on the blackened skyline, Harvey drops his shoulders and huffs.

"Donna."

"Donna?" Louis repeats. "What about her?"

"She's with Thomas."

"I know," Louis confirms. Thomas is his client.

"She didn't mention my birthday today. She's busy tonight, I guess." He takes another burning sip.

Louis presses his lips together and nods. "I bet she thinks it doesn't matter to you."

"What? Why would you say that?" Harvey challenges as he swiftly turns to face Louis.

"Because that's how you act, Harvey," Louis states. "That's the truth."

Harvey knits his brow, mulling over Louis's words. He's not going to deny that. Louis understands him all too well now. He keeps the people he cares about at arm's length, and when they eventually back away, he's hurt.

"You want to know another truth?... She's only with him because she can't be with you. She's only ever been with anyone else because she can't be with you." Louis informs, his words cutting close to the bone.

Despite the alcohol numbing his veins, Harvey feels his body stiffen and he shakes his head. "She doesn't want me. She told me herself," he lawyers back, determined to prove he knows better.

"Yeah, well that's bullshit," Louis says, rolling his eyes. "What about you? Have you ever been straight with her? Have you told her you're in love with her."

Harvey jerks his head back and raises his eyebrows in surprise. Louis is not mincing his words tonight, stating everything as fact. Has he been that obvious?

"Yes… no… I don't know." Harvey's voice cracks with uncertainty as he scans the ceiling.

"And that's also bullshit," Louis lawyers back. "You _do_ know… and it's killing you, Harvey. Just tell her."

Harvey gulps down the liquid. He can't even fake it anymore. "What if she doesn't…?"

Louis cuts him off. "She won't."

"She's in a relationship. She's happy," he adds, tossing out excuses he secretly hopes Louis will challenge.

"Happy enough, maybe," his friend suggests. "But it's not what she really wants, it's what she's settling for."

"You don't know that," Harvey contests, sounding defeated. "Kessler's pretty near perfect."

"I do know that. But don't take my word for it, find out for yourself," Louis dares him. "Unless you don't really want it. If that's the case, better leave her alone because she can make it work with Thomas. And he's all in."

Louis's words feel threatening, and Harvey's heart pounds like he's getting ready for a fight.

With a breath, Harvey wants to confide more in his friend, so he asks, "How do I..."

Louis interrupts again. "Call her. Tell her you need to talk to her," he advises. "But you have to be willing to put it all out there and be prepared for what comes back."

"That she doesn't want the same?" he asks. His insides are spinning.

"No... that she does." Louis explains. "You're going to have to prove that it's different this time. Can you be there for her tomorrow and the day after that, Harvey? Can you stick it out when she's angry? Because she's going to be angry."

"I can. I want to…," he admits. "But she won't believe me."

"I know Donna. If you're honest with her, Harvey, really honest, and willing to fight for her, she'll believe you... eventually," Louis assures, as he gets up from his chair. He only intended to drop by for a few minutes.

"I appreciate this, Louis," Harvey says gratefully.

"Harvey, I'm sorry, but I have to go," the managing partner explains. "I told Sheila I'd be back by nine and I'm already late."

"You go," he says with an understanding nod, wishing he, too, had someone who missed him like that. "And thanks again, Louis."

"Anytime, my friend," Louis responds, patting him on the shoulder. Harvey follows his colleague to the door, and before walking out, Louis turns back. "Make it a birthday present to yourself, Harvey… to take a risk. Donna is worth it, and so are you."

Harvey offers a quick nod, shuts the door and leans against it. Closing his eyes, he lets out a frustrated sigh. Pulling out his phone once again, he checks for messages. Still nothing. Then he stares at #1 on his contact list – Donna. His thumb hovers above the button. Should he call? No...

Maybe, he shudders to think, Donna is "busy" with Thomas. Harvey decides to text instead.

 _Hey, are you free tomorrow? Thought we could talk._

Harvey stares at the blue screen until it slowly fades to black. In the past, it would take her seconds to respond, but they've drifted so far now, he's not even sure if she will.

Resting his phone on the kitchen counter, Harvey busies himself by putting away cups and plates from the dishwasher. Then, he gives the mobile a quick glance. Blank.

After pouring himself a glass of water, he heads to the den to watch sports highlights. That's always a good time-waster, he thinks.

After an hour of mindlessly watching tv, Harvey heads back into the kitchen to peek at his phone again. Still nothing. Disappointed, he turns away. Then…

Ping! The screen lights up. He rushes back, squeezing the phone in his hand before looking down.

 _Sure. Afternoon? Where do I meet you? Everything ok?_

Harvey takes a deep breath, giving himself a few minutes before responding. He doesn't want to appear too anxious.

 _Not sure, Need to talk. My place? 2 pm?_

Another ping.

 _K._

There's no turning back now, Harvey realizes. What's worse is that he's got all night and all morning to stress about this. And he doesn't even know what to say. Given everything that's gone down between them, he knows she's not going to believe him. Not at first. The minute he opens his mouth, her guard will be up.

 _Jesus, what the hell am I going to say?_

Harvey's mind turns to Thomas once again. How can he compete with a guy like that? Sure, he and Donna have history, but Thomas is a clean slate. He's the guy who's never hurt or confused or disappointed her. It's a relationship full of promise with no baggage for Donna to unpack. He really can't fault her for wanting that. She deserves it.

Then Harvey wonders what he could possibly offer her. In court, in the ring, and even at the poker table, he fights to win. But to win back Donna's trust and affection while she's in a relationship? And to fight for her now that she's happy with someone? This goes against everything he believes in.

Moral issues aside, he also has no clue where to start. He's already made a mess of her ability to trust him. How does he express his feelings for her while respecting her relationship status? Can that even be done? These are the questions branding themselves into his brain at the moment, and he has no answers.

It's been a long day. A long week, actually. So Harvey decides to leave it all until morning. Maybe after a good night's sleep, he'll be able to work out what he needs to say, and how he's going to say it.

Harvey takes Louis's tumbler from the coffee table, places it in the dishwasher and turns off the kitchen lights. Padding his way to the bedroom, he turns on a lamp stationed next to the cactus plant Donna once gave him. The plant found its way into his bedroom one evening a couple of months ago, when he was feeling particularly lonely.

Tearing off his work shirt and pants, Harvey sets them on a chair along with the rest of his drycleaning. He returns his tie to the closet, and then drops his undershirt and socks in the laundry bin for his cleaning lady. He's not normally this intentional about his clothes, but he thrives on the routine now.

Wearing only his boxers, he drops to the floor. 50 push-ups, then he collapses, his arms and shoulders burning. Rolling over, he fights through 100 crunches. They hurt, but he needs it.

To keep the depression and panic attacks at bay, Harvey's been holding strong to a routine. So far it's been working. Running in the morning. Push-ups and crunches at night. In bed by eleven with some light reading. Lipschitz told him no documents or case files, so he's settled on two engaging biographies – one of Joe DiMaggio, the other of Muhammad Ali.

Reading helps lull him to sleep. But before he settles down, Harvey glances at his phone one final time. He half expects Donna to cancel, so he reviews their back and forth. While her responses weren't cold, they certainly didn't convey warmth like they once did.

 _What's it going to take for her to believe me this time?_

Harvey closes his eyes and reflects on Louis's words… _tell her the truth_.

With his head heavy on his pillow, Harvey imagines Donna in front of him. There's no Thomas, it's just them. Her gorgeous eyes warm on his and her red hair soft on her shoulders. He hears himself tell her things, important things, honest things.

 _Donna, I love you._

 _I always have._

 _I always will._

 _I'm yours._

 _Please believe me._

 _Do you? Could you?_

Before Harvey can imagine her answer back, sleep takes him.

XXX

It's nearly midnight and Donna can't sleep. Lying on her side, Thomas's arm suddenly feels heavy on her. It's almost suffocating.

 _Shit, Harvey, why did you contact me?_

She's curious about what Harvey wants, and also furious. Not at him, but at herself for agreeing to meet, and for letting his stupid text affect her sleep.

She should have expected this "wanting to talk" nonsense from him. It's taken him longer this time than in the past, but it's still a classic Harvey move. First, he'll mention her man, usually by his first name. _Mark, Stephen, Thomas…_ Then he'll admit he's affected by her relationship… "bothered", as he likes to say. Then he'll qualify his comment by admitting that it's not right or fair or blah, blah, blah... and that will be it.

So the fact that she's agreed to hear this one more time makes her want to scream.

Unless… unless he has something else he needs to tell her. Maybe he and Scottie have rekindled things. That's very possible. They've been in and out of each other's lives forever. And when Harvey needs something, she thinks, he has no problem justifying his behaviour. Or who knows, maybe Zoe is back from the UK.

Either way, the lesson here, Donna reminds herself, is to never let her guard down around Harvey. It was stupid of her to agree to meet in the first place, but the deed is done. Chalk it up to a moment of weakness. She'll make a point of telling Harvey that she's on a tight schedule. He can say what he needs to, and then she'll be out of there.

This entire thing is particularly maddening because she actually has a future with Thomas. He's attentive and open and self-aware. He treats her with respect and values her opinions. He's as generous in bed as he is out of it, and he likes his family.

Her 20-year-old romantic self would have never imagined this would be her life today. That she's seeing love from a more practical perspective. But what else in her life is like what she imagined it would be? She's also not on a Broadway stage every night, yet she's made a good life for herself. So, what's the point of hanging on to a fantasy with Harvey when what Thomas has to offer is real?

Donna sighs as she shifts out from under Thomas's arm and towards the cool sheets along the edge. It's going to be a restless night. She can already feel it.

 _Damn you, Harvey._


	2. Chapter 2

**IMPERFECT CHAPTER 2**

"Hey, beautiful… what are you doing all the way over there?" Thomas whispers, as he hears Donna stirring at the edge of his king-size bed.

Donna turns over, her sleepy eyes meeting his gentle ones. She can't help but give him a lazy, early morning smile, grateful that he's pulled her away from her thoughts.

Maybe it's the confidence in his voice or the kindness she sees in those soft blue eyes, but there's something about Thomas that just makes the world go away.

"I was restless and, for some reason, I couldn't sleep," she says, not wanting to admit anything to herself, let alone to him. "I was afraid all my tossing and turning would wake you."

Thomas lifts the bedsheet and shuffles closer. With his fingers guiding her chin, he places a slow, tender kiss on her lips.

"I'm sorry… What can I do to help?" he asks, his hand now gently massaging away the tension along her neck and shoulder.

Donna closes her eyes at his touch, and she consciously gives herself permission to savour how good this feels. This is a man who doesn't need to be asked, he just does, she tells herself.

"Thomas, why are you so good to me?" she whispers back, relishing in the tingling sensation of his warm hand on her skin.

"Good to you? You're very easy to love, Donna," he states, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "And wanting to make you happy is hardly a chore."

His words shoot like an arrow into her heart, slicing through the heartache she's felt for so long. _Easy to love_ … It's suddenly clear to Donna why things have never fallen into place with Harvey.

Even more, she believes Thomas when he tells her. The comforting warmth of his body when he's close, and the honesty in his touch, Thomas is all in. She's also starting to believe that she could be, too.

"You're one very special man, Thomas Kessler," she compliments, as her palm smooths across his bare chest. "And you make me happy, too."

It's true, he does make her happy. Thomas is also easy to love, which is good news because Donna is looking for something real and long lasting. She wants to feel "all those feelings she's supposed to feel," as Rachel would say.

So, the fact that "all those feelings she's supposed to feel" aren't coming as naturally as she'd like is both frustrating and confusing. Thomas is good _to_ her and good _for_ her. What's holding her back? If only she could will her heart to follow her head, rather than the other way around.

So, instead of focusing on what's not there, Donna decides to pay attention to what's in front of her. Propping herself up on her elbow, she meets Thomas's gaze.

"I'm starting to think that whatever we did last night didn't work off enough of my restlessness," she flirts, trying to nudge those feelings into the light. "Maybe we should try again."

Thomas chuckles. "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me," he says, quoting a risqué scene from _The Graduate_. His choice of movie giving away that Thomas is not young, but a man who's lived enough of a life to know what he wants. "You should know, I'm a very capable student."

Donna giggles back. "Are you saying I'm the sexy married woman and you're the hot graduate?"

"Except, you're not married… but you are certainly _very_ sexy," he replies between the gentle kisses he places along her neck.

"I'm definitely not married," Donna confirms, feeling a twinge in her stomach upon hearing those words out loud. She and her 20-year-old self thought she would be by now.

"You should also know that _I'm_ taken," Thomas whispers in her ear. "Completely taken…"

Donna can't help but close her eyes when his breath hits her cheek. She has to admit, Thomas is hot. Breathtakingly hot.

For a man in his early forties, his body is remarkable. Donna remembers the first time they slept together, she had to catch her breath after seeing him shirtless. There he was, naked in the glow of her bedroom candles. His skin, gorgeous and sun-kissed, and his build, chiseled and athletic.

That first night together, Thomas's muscular arms and firm chest enveloped her like a cocoon. She felt both excited and safe. And once his strong legs pressed against the soft skin of her thighs, it was all she could do not to melt. Throw in that dark hair, those intense blue eyes and his confident mouth, and you have one very handsome package.

Thomas Kessler is most definitely all man, and he knew from the minute he laid eyes on Donna that they'd have amazing sexual chemistry. He's also very much a gentleman who's not afraid to put his heart out there. He's been particularly careful with Donna, though, because women like her don't come around every day.

Thomas knows there are times she wants to take the lead, and there are times she prefers to be taken care of. He's also aware that understanding the timing of these needs is what will set him apart from the rest.

This morning, as Thomas is quick to discover, Donna is definitely in the mood to lead. Her tongue is already in his mouth, teasing and taunting him, as she pulls his weight on top of her.

His hands are lost in her hair now, while hers travel the length of his back. He can feel her fingers pressing and reaching and grasping at his skin, as if they're in search of something.

Feeling her way across his back, Donna wants to experience with Thomas, the kind of closeness that would deepen their relatonship. She really does. If she could just tip the scales to feel more for him and less for Harvey, she's certain she could easily move on.

"Mrs. Robinson, what are you doing?" Thomas teases.

"Forget about her," she commands. "You're getting the full Donna treatment this morning."

xxx

Harvey is setting the cactus plant back on the coffee table when he hears a knock at the door. Two o'clock… right on time. He feels the adrenaline pump through his veins, causing his heart to pick up pace. As Lipschitz once explained, adrenaline readies the body for "fight or flight" during stress. This makes complete sense, he thinks, and explains so much of his past behaviour.

Harvey shakes his head and sighs. He's been on the planet more than forty years and he's just getting to know himself now.

It's Saturday, and Harvey is wearing black jeans and a navy blue collared shirt. Donna once told him that no matter the occasion, men are always more attractive in shirts with collars. He's come to agree, and it's just another shining example of the influence she's had over him for the better part of his adult life.

It's why he drinks his coffee with vanilla, and sleeps under 300 thread count, Egyptian cotton sheets and wears that very expensive cedar and sandalwood cologne. He's intentionally kept her at arm's length, yet she's managed to infiltrate every part of his life.

Harvey first meets the front door with a long exhale. And before opening it, Louis's words come to mind.

 _Talk to her…tell her the truth._

"Hey, you made it." he says, trying to look and sound upbeat. Harvey can't help but smile at Donna's appearance. Black workout capris, a light pink tank, loose ponytail and the faintest hint of lip gloss. Over her shoulder is a grey gym bag with a turquoise yoga mat peeking through.

"I take it you expect you're going to need yoga after coming here?" Harvey tries to meet her with a little humour, but Donna isn't in a playful mood. She's standing firm at his doorway.

"My class starts soon, I only have a few minutes, so…" she says without expression. "What do you need, Harvey?"

 _What do you need_ … the wording throws him off. Her perception of their entire relationship summed up in one phrase. He asks and she's supposed to give _._ Harvey realizes it doesn't even occur to her that, for once, he might be the one with something to offer.

She's also done away with the niceties today, getting right to the point. It leaves Harvey feeling unsettled and off balance.

"We haven't talked in a while, that's all," he says, walking towards the kitchen. "Can I get you something? I might have herbal tea here somewhere." Harvey turns around to discover that she's not following.

"No, I'm fine thanks." There's a distance in Donna's voice, and Harvey can read enough of her body language to tell that this is pretty much the last place she wants to be right now.

Harvey's shoulders slump, as he rests his hands on the kitchen counter. This isn't going to be easily fixed. Peering around the corner, he asks, "Can we sit for a minute?"

Donna slowly walks in, but instead of heading for the sofa, like Harvey expects, she makes her way to the kitchen stool closest to the door. Sitting on its edge, her expression is blank. She doesn't even drop her bag, leaving her fingers to continue their firm grip on the handles.

Harvey's instinct is to stay behind the counter, treating it like a protective barrier of sorts. But he realizes that if he wants something new, he can't fall back on old habits. So, he takes a seat on the stool next to her. It's close enough that his knee brushes hers when he drops down.

Donna can see the discomfort on Harvey's face. His glassy eyes, the nervous wrinkles across his forehead, and the twitching muscles along his jaw.

Six months ago, seeing his expression like this, Donna would have racked her brain trying to understand what it all meant. But now… she just doesn't have it in her.

His proximity to her is disarming, so she pushes back the stool, allowing herself to maintain the emotional breathing room that she needs.

"How have you been?" he starts, his eyes carefully watching.

"Great. But you already know that, Harvey. We see each other every day." She's also not in the mood for small talk. "You texted… so, what can I help you with?"

 _Let's get this over with, Harvey._

Harvey senses that, emotionally, Donna already has one foot out the door, and he's starting to feel panicked. It's clear she's not interested in hearing him out. But he soldiers on, like he promised himself he would.

"Donna, I know you're with Thomas, and I know you're happy. But I need to say this…" he starts, with an uneasy breath.

 _Here we go,_ she thinks, letting out a sigh.

"I love you…"

His words echo through the stillness of his penthouse, filling its emptiness and ringing loud in her ears. Sitting silent, Donna tries to recover from what feels like an assault on her senses. He looks for a reaction, but her stare is cold.

"You love me… that's great, Harvey." Her response is flat, her anger now spreading like a rash across her skin. "So… what do you expect me to do with that?"

"I don't know…" he admits, his Adam's apple anxiously bobbing. "I just need you to know that I do."

Donna rolls her eyes, stunned that they're here again. She suddenly sits up, positioning herself for battle, and he can feel her resentment building.

"Ok, Harvey, I'll play along for old time's sake…" Her words oozing sarcasm and hostility. "Exactly _how_ do you love me?"

Harvey jolts his head back, as if someone has just taken a swing at him. And it's a swing he knows he deserves.

"In all the ways that you think," he says, his voice unsteady. He wants to look away, but he won't let himself. He needs to give her every cue to prove he means what he's saying.

Donna presses her lips together and offers a shaky nod.

"So, we're back to this, are we? It's still up to me to figure it out then..." Fuming, Donna gets up to leave.

Harvey immediately stands and reaches for her wrist. "Wait! Please don't... I'm trying here."

Donna lets out an exasperated sigh. She turns around, but refuses to sit back down.

"I know my timing's bad, and it's probably not going to make a difference anyway, but I love you, Donna… I'm in love with you… for a while now." His eyes are pleading for her to believe his words.

Afraid of falling back into this game, Donna refuses to meet his gaze, so she scans the penthouse. She's mildly impressed that the cactus is still alive, but tells herself his cleaning lady probably waters it. Then, she notices the new bottle of scotch on the counter.

Shaking her head and with a humourless chuckle, she says, "I see what this is about now… This is about you feeling lonely on your birthday."

"It's not, not at all... but you didn't even call… Why didn't you?" he says, his voice giving away his hurt.

Donna is incredulous, and her eyes go wide. "All these years, you hated me doing things for your birthday, but like an idiot, I kept insisting," she retorts, raising her arm and immediately dropping it in frustration. "It's taken me a while, but I finally got the message… you can't make someone want something they don't want."

"Donna… everything you've done for my birthday has been special to me… Are we talking about birthdays now or something else?" His brow furrows as he tries to understand.

"Does it even matter anymore, Harvey?" she asks, her voice exasperated. "This is because of Thomas, then... because you miss the attention."

"No… it's because I've been working up the courage to tell you and I finally have." His chest is visibly rising and falling now. Louis warned she'd be angry.

"So all those months that we were both single, you thought it wasn't worth the risk… but now that I'm unavailable, you decide I need to know?!"

"That's not fair. I'm trying here… at least I didn't kiss you without a warning," he says, instantly regretting his words. Even though they had agreed to put it behind them, Donna kissing Harvey when he was with Paula is clearly unfinished business.

Donna steps back with an angry nod. "So, this is you wanting to settle the score, then? Ok, consider us even." Water starts to pool in her eyes, and Harvey feels like shit for bringing her to that point.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that…I'm sorry," he jumps in, trying to recover. "I was upset that you kissed me because of what it made me feel."

Harvey's voice is soft now and his defences are down. "And then you said you didn't feel anything."

"Really?! I recall you telling me, yelling, actually, that you _didn't_ want more…" Donna refuses to let him away with his screwed-up version of their history. "Why are we even talking about this, anyway? It's still how you felt."

Harvey shakes his head in disagreement.

"It's not how I felt… I was scared," he admits. Then with a frustrated sigh, he continues. "Look, I'm an idiot. You don't need to remind me of how flawed I am. Believe me… I know."

With his stomach turning, and a lump forming at the back of his throat, Harvey adds, "And Thomas is a great guy… _the perfect guy_ … and he's probably the one for you… but I couldn't let you move on without telling you the truth."

Once again, Donna shakes her head in disbelief. Her hand is now throbbing from how tightly she's been gripping her gym bag.

"You don't get it, do you? Thomas isn't _perfect_. He's human and he's flawed like the rest of us," Donna snaps back, her eyes burning with frustration.

She pauses to look Harvey over, seething at the fact that she can't will herself to walk out and let this go.

"You know what the difference is between you two?" she asks.

"What?" Harvey tilts his head back and slips his hands into his pockets, waiting for the blow that he knows is coming.

"Unlike you, he thinks I'm easy to love. Nothing more than that." Once again, hot tears start to pool in Donna's eyes. "It's not stressful or difficult for him to feel that way about me. I don't exhaust him with my questions and my needs. I'm just… easy to love."

Harvey's face drops. He can see that Donna is so upset that she's shaking. He reaches for her again, but she pulls away.

"You _are_ easy to love.. you've _always_ been easy to love," he whispers. All he wants is to wrap his arms around her.

"I should know, Donna, I've felt this way about you for a long time… and I've never felt like this about anyone else," he confesses, his eyes now starting to mist. "It's never been because of you, it's because of me. I'm the one with the issues. I'm the one who's not easy to love..."

"Well... it's nice to see you finally got something right." Her hurtful words dropping like grenades at his feet.

Backing away, she catches a tear threatening to fall. "I have to go..."

Donna quickly turns and storms out, leaving Harvey feeling beaten and helpless as the door closes behind her.

Louis warned him this was going to happen.

 _You have to be willing to put it all out there, Harvey. Can you stick it out when she's angry?_

Before Harvey can second-guess himself, he's out the door and racing to catch the elevator. Donna is at the end of the hall, waiting for it to arrive. She knows he's behind her but refuses to face him.

"Donna, please look at me, I'm not done." He's breathless and her eyes are bloodshot.

"I love you and I always have. I want to respect your relationship, but you also need to know that I want more. I won't screw it up this time," he promises.

The elevator doors open and Donna steps inside, her eyes are glued to the floor.

"Harvey, I'm with Thomas. I can't think right now."

As the doors start to close, Harvey rushes in and presses the emergency stop button.

Donna's eyes go wide and her mouth drops. She walks back from him until she meets the wall.

"Harvey, what the hell are you doing?"

" _I said_ … _Look at me_." His raised voice commands her attention as he steps into her space. Their faces are inches apart now, and his gaze never leave hers. Harvey wants to touch her, but he won't. As much as her being with Thomas makes him crazy, he refuses to be that guy.

"You don't believe me? Then you're going to hear it every day from me until you do…," he warns, as he presses both his hands against the elevator wall, her head held back between them.

This time, his words are slow and intentional…

"Donna."

"I love you."

"I always will."

"I want more."

"I want a home and a life."

"With you."

Harvey's temples are throbbing and he's sure Donna can also hear his heart pounding. There's nothing but shock and confusion in her eyes. He can hardly blame her. She's staring like she doesn't even recognize him. Shit, he barely recognizes himself right now.

Harvey doesn't move, and neither does she. They're so close, she can feel his breath on her face, and the scent of sandalwood tickles her nose. For a moment, his eyes dance back and forth between hers, and then, with a breath, he drops his arms and steps back.

Harvey turns to press the button that restarts the elevator, and without a word or a glance, he walks out.

The second the doors close, Donna starts to breathe again, and her tears hit the floor.

 _You're such an asshole, Harvey._

Exiting his building, Donna realizes she has just enough time to make her yoga class. But all she wants is her bed right now, so she cancels and heads home instead. Her emotions are running wild and she doesn't know how to contain them. Exhausted and angry and confused… and, worst of all, still in love with Harvey Specter.

Meanwhile, Harvey slowly walks over to the couch and with a frustrated sigh, drops himself down in front of the cactus. His apartment feels emptier than ever now. For years, he's been afraid to admit his feelings, and today, he just confessed to loving her six times in the span of twenty minutes.

Exhausted and tortured by what just happened, Harvey drops his head into his hands. He doesn't know what to do with himself now, so he pulls out his phone to text Louis.

 _Talked to Donna. Didn't go well. It's over._

Seconds later…

 _Did she come over? Was she angry? Did she fight?_

Harvey writes back.

 _Yes._

Louis responds.

 _Then, my friend, it's not over._


	3. Chapter 3

**IMPERFECT CHAPTER 3**

Her gym bag drops with a thud, and Donna can't hit the shower fast enough.

It's actually her second shower of the day. She and Thomas shared one this morning. An intimate and steamy affair bubbling with the promise of a future she so desperately wants. It's been a long time since Donna's felt this cared for by a man, and Thomas certainly makes her feel that. Desired and beautiful. Safe and secure. And this morning was the first time she could see herself finally wash away the past and embrace a new and different future.

But that was this morning. Stepping in now, she's determined to scrub away all the burning emotions that a stupid twenty minutes with Harvey has conjured up. She feels angry and guilty and dirty. Angry for letting her guard down when she knew better. Guilty because Thomas is a good guy, no, a great guy, who deserves her full commitment. And dirty because she swears to God, in that elevator… she was one heartbeat away from slapping him and another away from kissing him until they were both breathless.

So the hot water raining down on her now can't come fast enough or hard enough or loud enough. Closing her eyes, Donna releases a weary exhale, willing the droplets to crash across her face and splash down her front.

Thirteen. That's how old she was when she first discovered the benefits of shower therapy. Her parents' marriage was on the rocks, and when their fighting became too much to bear, upstairs she would go. The shower was a shelter of sorts, shielding her from the pain of seeing her family fall apart. With one pull of the curtain, she would insulate herself from the bombs being dropped around her. Hot rain drumming down, its soothing and predictable sound, all but drowned out the crying and the yelling and the weaponized words.

Sadly, what Donna discovered then, and what's still true now, is that the moment you step out of a hot shower, the cold hits you. This was the case with Thomas this morning, and it's also true of her thoughts about Harvey. No matter how hard she tries, the cold, hard truth is that there are some feelings she can't lather into being and there are others that just won't wash away.

Padding around her apartment now, in towel-wrapped hair and a plush bathrobe, Donna treats herself to cup of herbal tea before heading for her bed. It's not even dinner time and she's ready to surrender to the night. Checking her phone, she sees that Thomas has called. Probably to ask about her yoga class, and to discuss this evening's plans.

"Hello, beautiful. How was your class?" he asks, as predicted, when she rings him back.

"Actually, I didn't end up going," Donna admits. A lie was on the tip of her tongue, but she decided against it, not wanting to add to her burden of guilt.

"I was feeling exhausted, actually, so I decided to come home." Not completely forthright, but not really a lie, she justifies.

"Can I do anything? Bring you some homemade soup from the deli next door?" he offers.

"Thomas, that's really sweet. Can I take a rain check on tonight? I just need an early night." she explains. "Work has finally caught up with me, plus, you've kept me up way past my bedtime quite a few nights this week."

Donna's tone is intentionally playful as she doesn't want Thomas to think she's having doubts. But she really needs to be alone tonight.

"Of course we can, and I'll happily take the blame for your being tired," he chuckles. "I'll call before bed, ok?"

"I'd like that," Donna agrees. She hangs up the phone and immediately texts Rachel.

 _911! I really need to talk to you!_

Fifteen minutes later her phone buzzes.

"He told me he's in love with me and wants more." Donna doesn't even bother with a hello.

"What? Thomas?" Rachel says.

"Harvey…" Donna clarifies.

"Holy shit, Donna, what happened?" her dark-haired friend asks. Donna can hear the lilt of surprise in her voice. "I thought you were seeing Thomas."

"I am…" Donna replies, as she proceeds to explain the insanity that took place at Harvey's a few short hours ago.

"Then, he said he finally got the courage to tell me, and that he's felt this way for a long time," Donna sighs, the entire conversation is still so surreal to her.

"Wow… Harvey's finally opening up. This is great, Donna," Rachel says enthusiastically.

Silence on the line.

"It's a good thing, right?" her friend asks, concerned. "Donna… it is, isn't it?"

"I don't know Rachel. Why should I believe Harvey? How do I know it's not just because I'm with someone?" Donna asks. "And Thomas… he's solid. I trust him."

"Ok… but do you love him? Are you in love with him?" Rachel asks, getting to the heart of the matter.

"I definitely care for him... deeply," she says, trying to convince herself and Rachel of what they both know isn't there. "Maybe with time? Not everyone experiences love at first sight."

"Donna, be honest with me.." Rachel insists. "Right now, where's your heart?"

Donna pauses for a minute, and then huffs, "I think you know…"

"So what are you waiting for?" she asks.

"After everything he's put me though? With the kiss and the rejection and all… part of me is still really angry at him and at myself," Donna admits, realizing how good it feels to finally express out loud, the emotions she's kept buried for so long.

"I understand," Rachel empathizes. "But don't stay with Thomas because you're mad at Harvey. You know that's not going to work, no matter how much you care for Thomas. I guarantee it won't end well."

"You're right, Rachel." Donna replies, as she massages her forehead with her fingers. "Maybe I haven't given my relationship with Thomas a real chance? Maybe if I give it more time?"

"It's been a couple of months, Donna…. I think you know." Rachel advises, recognizing how badly her friend needs the voice of reason right now.

"I do… Thanks, Rachel, I needed this," Donna says gratefully. "I wish you were here."

"I'm always just a call away," she assures. "Call me anytime."

"You may regret saying that," Donna chuckles.

"I know Harvey has said and done some stupid things, Donna. But his love for you has always been pure. I've never doubted that," Rachel says before signing off. "The only difference now, is that he's finally brave enough to admit it."

After ending her call, Donna slides under her duvet and drops her toweled head back onto the pillow. Instantly her thoughts turn to Harvey. What the hell is happening between them? It's taken her years to get to this point. To finally come to terms with what could never be. And here's Thomas… kind, attentive and attractive. She's tried to give this relationship a real shot. Even so much as to visualize what life would be like with Thomas in five, ten, even twenty years.

But whenever she closes her eyes to imagine that future, his isn't the face that keeps forcing its way through.

Xxx

Another night alone, another one hundred crunches. Lipschitz promised that by admitting his feelings, he would feel lighter. That the truth would set him free.

 _Bullshit._

The last time Harvey felt this vulnerable was when Mike was heading to prison. It felt terrible then and it feels terrible now. All this truthfulness has also worn him out. Harvey could barely manage sixty crunches, let alone one hundred.

With a splash of cold water on his face, Harvey catches his reflection in the mirror. Since his birthday last week, he's been feeling old. His eyes look tired, and all he sees is disappointment. Today, Donna was quick to agree that he's not easy to love. That hurt. A lot. She knows him better than anyone. If she really thinks that about him, what hope does he have?

 _She's going to be angry. Are you willing to handle what comes back?_ Louis challenged last night.

Drumming his fingers along the bathroom counter, he knows the answer is yes. Even when it hurts?

 _Still yes._

Harvey drops into bed, his body feeling heavy like a dead weight. He picks up his prescribed night-time reading in the hopes of filling his thoughts with something other than Donna. But the sentences blur together as he tries to focus on the words. His mind is not on the page, but in the elevator.

Harvey has never seen Donna look at him the way she did today. Her bright eyes expressing everything she couldn't say. There was shock, confusion, anger, even hurt. But he didn't see indifference. And that, he thinks, is a good thing.

With his head to the pillow, Harvey can't help but wonder what she's doing tonight. Thomas probably has something special planned. Dinner and wine. Maybe Saturday night at the theatre. All ending back at his place or hers. Harvey won't allow himself to imagine that. Then, on a lazy Sunday morning, he'll bring her coffee. _Their_ coffee. For some reason, the thought of Thomas adding vanilla to her cup really upsets him.

To quiet his mind, Harvey turns off the light, but his thoughts go back to the elevator.

" _I love you," he says. "I want more."_

 _He barely gets the words out and she's pulling him to her. His hands instantly fall away from the wall and envelop her waist._

 _She gently holds his face, her fingers slowly moving to tickle the nape of his neck, and he's suddenly dizzy._

" _I love you, Harvey," she whispers, and he just wants to fall into her._

 _She doesn't wait for him to catch his breath. Her warm mouth instantly caresses his. Lips tender and soft. The sensation of this kiss tingles all the way down through his groin._

Harvey suddenly sits up and reaches for the light. His heart is thundering against his ribcage. Taking the book off the bedside table, he opens it and begins to read once again.

He can't sleep.

xxx

"Ok everyone, quick morning meeting about that expansion plan," Louis says, as he energetically directs the team into the conference room.

The managing partner has called Donna and his fellow name partners together first thing on Monday, in the hopes of getting a jump on a growth opportunity for the firm.

After a rocky start, and much to the surprise of senior staff, Zane Specter Litt Wheeler Williams has been doing quite well under Louis's leadership. A growing roster of high-end clients has not only created a need for more staff, but for the space to go with it.

"We have two leasing options," Donna begins. "We can take half of the 47th floor right now, or try to negotiate a better price per square foot for two-thirds of the 46th. The second option is only available at year's end. We'll have to adjust until then, but I think it's better over the long term."

Robert nods in agreement. "Two-thirds sounds reasonable to me, Red. Let's do it."

"It only makes sense if we can get them down on price," Alex confirms. "We need at least a ten per cent cut to make it worth it."

"Push for fifteen, Donna," Samantha suggests. "And settle for ten. You may get twelve."

"Thanks, Samantha, I've dealt with David Fox before. We'll need to get a little creative with our negotiating, but I'm sure we can get him down," she adds with a confident smile. "I just need agreement from all the partners on which floor to go after."

Louis turns to Harvey, who has been oddly silent, and fiddling with his pen during the entire meeting. This is the first time Harvey has laid eyes on Donna after pouring his heart out two days ago. It's been radio silence from her since, and he doesn't know what to think.

"Harvey, what do you think?" Louis asks, shaking Harvey's thoughts back into the meeting.

"Donna knows I'm all in… hundred per cent," he says pointedly, his dark eyes zeroing on hers. "To be honest, I'm keen to move forward… the sooner the better, but if we have to wait, then I'm prepared to wait."

Surprised at Harvey's deliberate response, Louis raises his eyebrows while Donna's eyes go wide.

"Great! It's settled then," the managing partner says enthusiastically. "We're all in agreement. Donna, let's go for the two-thirds option. Thanks everyone, back to work!"

Sensing tension between Harvey and Donna, Louis rushes everyone out before the rest of the team catches on.

As the conference room clears, Donna remains seated, her head down as she finishes her meeting notes.

Harvey is intentionally slow, and is about to step out when Donna finally turns to him. "Harvey, What was that?"

"You know…" he says, his voice low as he looks back at her from the doorway. Harvey's been out of sorts since their heated exchange, his emotions bouncing from confidence to uncertainty and back again.

"I'm in a relationship, Harvey…" she states. "What do you want me to say?"

"You are…," Harvey agrees. His stomach in knots at hearing her say it out loud. "I'm just telling you how I feel… the rest is up to you."

Then, quickly leaning in, his mouth close enough that she can feel his breath in her ear, he whispers, "And how I feel is… I love you ..."

"Harvey…" Donna starts, her expression indicating that he's caught her off guard.

Ignoring her, Harvey turns on his heel and walks out.

Donna has to catch her breath, because while she might lie to herself, the butterflies in her stomach won't. Now the words on her paper go blurry as her eyes mist over. There was a time when she would have given anything to hear Harvey say those three words. But now, she's torn. Does she risk her heart like her 20-year-old self would? Or does the adult in her, the one who's had her fair share of love and loss, stay with a sure and steady thing?

XXX

On Tuesday morning, Donna arrives at her desk to find a coffee with a note attached that says, _"And I always will."_

She can't help but stare at the familiar handwriting on the light yellow post-it. Harvey warned her that he would find a way to make her believe, but she didn't imagine this. In fact, she thought his words were bravado, like the way he talks when he's fighting a big case. She takes a sip of the coffee, then carefully folds the note, and tucks it inside her wallet.

On Wednesday afternoon, Donna opens her desk drawer and notices a metal can opener that she knows wasn't there before. Their pre-trial ritual days are long over, but seeing it sitting there brings her back to when she and Harvey worked so closely together. A wistful smile forms on her lips as she reads the attached note, _"We've always been a great team."_

Donna picks up the can opener, feeling its weight against her palm. She recalls the day they decided on this ritual. They were at the coffee shop, it was days after they shared a night of mind-blowing sex, and Harvey had asked her to come work with him. Little did she know back then, where her career with Harvey would take her. With a sigh, she puts the metal opener back in her desk. She then carefully folds this note, and also places it in her wallet.

Late Thursday, Harvey orders dinner from that shitty Thai place, and has it delivered to her at the office. He was heading to an offsite meeting, and he knew Donna was staying late to finalize the paperwork for the expansion plans.

At first, when she saw the paper bag on her desk, Donna thought it was courtesy of Thomas. But then, after seeing what was ordered – veggie Pad Thai, light on the sauce, medium spice, no peanuts, extra tofu and three wedges of lime – she knew there's only one person who could have done that.

On top of the take-out carton, another post-it…

" _Two spring rolls because you always steal mine. I miss our dinners."_

Donna shakes her head and, as she folds that note and tucks it away, she can't help but smile. She has to admit, that was thoughtful of Harvey.

 _Thank you. You got my order right_. She texts.

Seconds later…

 _You're welcome… and you think I_ _don't_ _pay attention._

Friday afternoon, Donna receives a meeting request with the location being "Rooftop 5 pm". She doesn't accept, opting to walk to his office to discuss it, and the post-it notes.

Harvey isn't there, so with a sigh, Donna returns to her desk and hits accept.

xxx

"So… what's so important that you needed to book a meeting up here?" she asks, her arms crossed protectively in front, her red hair lightly blowing in the breeze.

"You've hardly said two words to me all week, Donna," he says, ready to engage. "Have you noticed that I've been trying? I just need to know what you're thinking."

"Thinking?" she responds, with a sigh. "Harvey, I'm in a relationship. What am I supposed to think?"

Harvey shakes his head in frustration. Then with a tilt of his head, his eyes narrow in on hers.

"Thomas… Are you in love him?" He asks, his voice cracking. "Because I'm walking a fine line here if you are."

In response, Donna cocks her head back and tightens the hold around her arms. "That's personal."

"It's been a couple of months, right? You either do or you don't," he challenges.

"Harvey…"

"I told you how I feel, Donna. This is driving me crazy! Just tell me," he pleads. "You either want the same thing or you don't."

"It's not that easy," she defends. "I care for Thomas."

"Yes, it is that easy," he volleys back, ignoring her admission about the man who stole her away.

After hearing this, Donna offers a sarcastic chuckle.

"For years you said this between us was complicated." Her finger waving through the space between them.

"So now that you think you know what you want, I'm just supposed to just fall in line?" she challenges.

Harvey steps back, as if to avoid the words she's firing at him. When he turns to look away, Donna notices his jaw muscles tensing with frustration.

"Do you know what it's like to have feelings for you?" he asks, his eyes right back on hers and his fists clenched. "To want you and to be terrified of this at the same time?"

"Do you know what it feels like to hear someone tell you that they love you, only for them to take it back?" she says, her voice equally determined. Her words hanging heavy in the dead air between them.

"Why should I take that risk with you when I'm sure how Thomas feels?" she asks.

"Because you don't love him, that's why!" His voice exasperated, and his arms flailing to make his point.

Harvey takes another step back, now he's looking her over with sad eyes. "Fine, maybe it's not me you want, or maybe you'll never believe me… but are you going to be happy with a man you're not in love with?"

"You don't know anything about how I feel!" she says in her defense.

"No? I sure as hell know you're angry with me." His tone defiant. "What have I done that's so unforgivable?"

"You hurt me!" she yells, her bottled up emotions now exploding over them both. "I've tried for years to get close, and you've always pushed me away, making it very clear you've never wanted more. And now, I finally meet a nice guy, a really nice guy, and you just want me to drop everything because you've changed your mind?!"

Donna feels her resentment taking a solid hold of her, and her arms start shaking. She presses them even more closely to her body.

"You hurt me, too!" he snaps back, his chest pounding. "Jesus, Donna, do you know how long I've struggled to tell you how I feel? How afraid I've been?! I finally get the courage to say it.. to say _I love you_ … and you tell me I'm not easy to love. How the hell do you think that makes _me_ feel?"

This time it's Harvey's eyes that well up first, and Donna suddenly blinks, the raw honesty of his words jolting her.

She looks across the skyline and then turns to him, her voice apologetic.

"Harvey…I didn't mean…"

He cuts her off, his palms open to her now. "I've been trying to open up… even though you're in a relationship, to admit how I feel. I took a risk you said I'd never take..." There's resignation in his voice now. "Do you want me to stop? Just tell me…"

Donna looks away. She shakes her head and covers her mouth.

Harvey holds his breath, waiting for her to say something, anything. But nothing comes.

"Tell me…" he pushes., his pleading eyes never leaving hers.

Silence.

"I thought so…," he says with a tired voice as he drops his arms to the side. "I guess you have some decisions to make then."

"I guess I do," she concedes, her voice quivering and barely audible over the rush-hour traffic below. "And because I need time to think… it's best for the both of us if you stop."

Taking a final step back, she quickly turns and heads into the building.

This time, she's not going to let Harvey have the final say, only for him to walk away from her.

She's going first.


	4. Chapter 4

**IMPERFECT CHAPTER 4**

"Scottie… to what do I owe the pleasure on this gorgeous Sunday afternoon?" His voice dripping with sarcasm as he takes the call.

After missing his morning run, Harvey is heading home following an extra-long session at the boxing gym.

"I haven't talked to you in a while, Harvey, thought we could catch up," she suggests. "Wasn't it your birthday recently? What kind of friend would I be if I didn't at least buy you a drink to celebrate?"

Contact with Scottie has always been a complicated affair for Harvey. Aside from the fact that on the relationship front, they've tried and failed a few times, there's just something about her that Harvey has never completely trusted. Even during the good times, he's refused to let his guard down.

Harvey also knows Donna is not a fan. She's never said it outright, but he could tell. Even now, she practically bristles every time Scottie's name is mentioned. Not that her feelings ever completely influenced his relationship decisions, but they've had an effect.

"As nice as it would be to catch up," he says, standing in the lobby of his building. "You never call unless you want something. So why don't we just start with that."

There's silence on the line.

"Can't a girl just call up an old friend to see how he's doing?" she asks coyly. "Or is your social calendar so full that you can't make the time?"

Harvey pulls the phone away from his ear to focus his thoughts. Scottie is not the company he wants tonight, but then again, Donna told him to keep his distance. And it would be nice to get out of his own head for a while.

"Alright, I can meet for a drink later," Harvey reluctantly agrees. "How about the St. Regis at eight?"

"Sounds good… it's a date," she suggests.

Harvey rolls his eyes. "Bye, Scottie."

xxx

It's early Sunday evening, and Donna anxiously paces the floor of her apartment. Wringing her hands and talking out loud to herself, her heart is practically in her mouth as Thomas is set to arrive at any second. She's dreading the conversation that needs to happen.

During the last week, Donna has been going through the motions, her behaviour all too familiar. Dinner, theatre, even sex… desperately trying to give those feelings one last chance to show themselves.

She knows that Thomas, being as attentive as he is, has felt the energy between them change. He's even brought it up a couple of times, but she's brushed it off, blaming everything from work to the weather.

So her words won't come as a total surprise. But she's been on the receiving end before, and knowing what's coming doesn't make it any easier when those words are finally spoken aloud.

She and Harvey have also kept their distance, and she's felt the tension every time they've crossed paths at the office. He's respected her wishes, which has been appreciated, although there's a distance in his gaze that's unsettling.

This friction between them has also been draining. To say his sudden confession was a surprise, is an understatement. Part of her just wants to forget the past, forget their old habits and forge a new path together. But that's an impossible wish.

Yes, he's finally admitted his feelings. Finally confessed those three words she's so desperately wanted to hear. But… he's said them before, and then backtracked. That play on her emotions was one of the most painful things she's ever experienced… and it's why she's stalled now. There's no reversing and she's terrified to put it into drive.

Donna is finishing the last of her wine when she hears a weary knock at the door.

 _And then there's Thomas…_

"Hi," he says, his voice sombre. Thomas is dressed casually tonight. Fitted black jeans and a plain gray sweater. He looks good, but his outfit suggests he has no expectations of a night out.

There's no kiss on the lips, just a chaste one to her cheek. And he's also dropped the "beautiful" in his usual greeting to her.

Donna responds with wide eyes in a eager attempt to appear optimistic.

"Come in, Thomas," she offers. He opts to stay in the doorway.

"Donna… I already know what you're going to say… let's just leave it, ok?" His soft blue eyes pleading, as his hands rest uncomfortably at his sides. He's putting on a brave face, but Donna can see that his features are pained.

"I guess I just want to know why… I honestly don't understand," Thomas says, his voice heavy with confusion. "I thought things were good between us. I thought we were moving forward."

Donna is taken aback by his candor. To steady herself, she keeps her hand on the door knob. Talking with Thomas about his emotions is definitely not like talking with Harvey. She expected she would be the one to lead this conversation, but now she's having to react.

In that moment, she wishes she was more capable. Wishes her heart could be open to him, to accept what he's prepared to offer, because Thomas is not like the other men she's met. He's a prize catch that she's now decidedly tossing back.

"Thomas… it was never a case of not being happy with you." Her eyes are gentle on his. "You're wonderful. But as we got closer, the more I realized that I have unfinished business that I need to deal with. I thought I was ready, but I'm not. I never meant to hurt you and I'm sorry."

"Harvey, right?"

"What?" Donna arches her eyebrows and her back in surprise.

"I saw the way he looked at you… when we were at that fundraiser a few weeks back," he states, his broad shoulders slumping. The space between them is weighted with disappointment and sadness now, and she doesn't have the heart to tell him.

Knowing her eyes are unable to hide the truth, she looks away and shakes her head. "Harvey and I have been coworkers... and friends… for a very long time," she clarifies. "My issues are mine and mine alone."

Again, it's not exactly forthright, but not a lie either.

Thomas nods, although she's not sure he's convinced.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Donna." His voice starts out confident, but then the emotion pools in his throat. "It's going to take me a while… to move on from this. I could see a future here... I thought you could, too."

"Thomas…" she replies, her guilt burning through her. "This is on me. I've failed you, but you've never failed me. I've got to come to terms with some things that have been following me around for a very long time."

She quickly blinks her eyes, forcing her tears at bay.

"I wish that when I had met you… that I was ready. I know the right person is out there for you, and when you find her… she's going to be one very lucky lady."

Thomas traces her face with his eyes, and with a gentle squeeze of her hand, he steps back. "Good-bye, Donna."

"Good-by, Thomas," she says, pressing her lips together to stop herself from crying. Donna watches as he determinedly walks down the corridor and out of her life.

Then with the close of her door, the tears start to fall. She wants to tell herself that this break-up was not about Harvey, but about her inability to find those feelings for Thomas. But that's a lie, and she knows it.

Harvey is everywhere. In her heart and mind. In this relationship and in past ones.

 _Damn you, Harvey._

Letting out a long and frustrated sigh, Donna pulls off her top, kicks off her pants and drops her under garments. Within seconds, there's a trail of clothing that leads all the way to the bathroom.

The tears are coming hard and fast now. So into the shower she goes.

xxx

Harvey is sitting at the hotel bar of the St. Regis, and scrolling his phone when he feels a hand on his back.

"Hi, sorry I'm late," Scottie says, breathless. Her dark, wavy, hair bouncing with the turn of her head. "Sunday night traffic, who knew?"

"Hey Scottie." Harvey immediately stands, waiting until the petite woman takes the barstool next to his before seating himself.

"I already ordered. What can I get you?" Harvey asks, raising his tumbler of Macallan.

"Scotch is fine, but I think I'm supposed to be buying the birthday drinks here," she quips.

"Don't worry about it, you know my birthday has never been a big deal," he replies. A twinge of sadness hits him at the memory of Donna choosing not to celebrate this year. "So… why did you want to see me?"

"Honestly? Besides the fact that you're still pretty?" she flirts, while propping her elbows on the bar. "I'm leaving. Moving to back to London next week. Thought we could have one more drink before I go."

Harvey raises his eyebrows in surprise, as he signals to the bartender for a second scotch. "Wow, this is unexpected. I thought you were going to tell me one of my clients likes you better than me now."

Scottie rolls her eyes. "Stealing a client? Still don't trust me do you, Harvey?" she sighs. "Actually, I was offered a great corner-office job with Barklays. I figured there's nothing keeping me here, and London is a fantastic city."

"That's great, Scottie. Congratulations." Harvey can't help but feel guilty, like he's to blame for Scottie's latest move. She initially came to New York from London in the hopes of rekindling their romance. But he could never fully commit. Now that he's aware of his feelings for Donna, he understands why.

"Sounds like quite an opportunity," he replies.

"It is. I'm really excited about it," she says enthusiastically. And with an elbow to his ribs, adds, "Who knows, I might even meet a prince or a duke one day. Maybe live in a palace."

Taking a sip of her scotch, she turns to look at Harvey. "So, what about you? What's new? The firm seems to be doing well."

"The usual," he replies, his glass teetering between two fingers. "Louis is in charge and doing a decent job… If you had told me that a year ago, I never would have believed it."

"How's everyone else… how's… Donna?" Her words carefully falling from her mouth, her eyes intently watching.

"She's good, COO suits her," he replies, determined to keep his tone casual.

"And does she still suit you?" Scottie asks. She knows it's a bold question, but she's leaving, and frankly, she wants closure.

"Excuse me?" Harvey responds, suddenly jolting his chin back and furrowing his brow.

"When we last spoke, it was obvious to me that you had feelings for her… I assumed you two would have made it official by now," Scottie says. Her words are straight up, but her feelings aren't. There's still a part of Scottie that will always love Harvey.

"Well, I'm not having this conversation with you, Scottie," he responds defensively, as he uncomfortably shifts on his stool. "Besides… she's in a relationship."

Scottie leans back on her seat, a slight smirk on her face. "Oh… I see… so Donna's finally moved on… I have to say, it was unbecoming to see such an attractive woman pine away like that."

Harvey abruptly turns, still frowning and with both hands cradling his glass now. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not sure if this is a real blind spot, Harvey, or one you've created to protect yourself," Scottie sighs. "She's been in love with you for years. I'd even bank on a decade."

Staring into his drink, Harvey shakes his head at the brunette's words.

"Well, if that's true, she's not any more," he states, tightly pressing his lips together as if to prevent himself from saying too much. "And yes, I was honest with her... She said she needed space."

"So what did you think was going to happen?" Scottie chuckles. "That she was just going to fall into your arms? This isn't the 1950s, Harvey… and I bet she found herself a nice guy."

"He's pretty much _perfect_ … one of Louis's clients… Thomas Kessler." Harvey huffs, as he forces himself to swallow the bitter taste of that name.

"Kessler… Furniture guy, right?" she asks. "I know who he is." With a tilt of her head and her eyes wide, she adds, "I have to agree… he's definitely the complete package."

"Thanks, Scottie, you really know how to comfort a guy," he says, irritated.

Scottie turns in her seat to face Harvey. She's surprised at how affected he is by Donna's man. This is a side of him she's never seen, even when they were together. This Harvey is insecure, vulnerable and deflated. Not the arrogant, "I play to win", kind of guy she's always known him to be.

The petty side of her thinks that he's deserves it. That, over the years, he's taken her love for granted, as well as Donna's. That what's happening now is simply karma. If you keep pushing people away, eventually they leave.

Another part of her feels sorry for Harvey, because she knows all too well what it's like to deeply love someone, and to not have them reciprocate.

With a breath, she places her hand on his arm. She's leaving in a week, and she's not going to kick the guy when he's down.

"She didn't reject you, Harvey. She said she needed time," Scottie assures, offering a faint smile. "She's loved you for a long time, that doesn't go away over night…. believe me on that one."

Harvey quickly glances at Scottie, her words adding to his guilt about their failed past.

"I'm not good about not getting what I want," he sighs, taking another sip of his drink.

"You're just figuring that out now about yourself?" she chuckles.

"Slow learner," he deadpans, looking straight ahead.

"And for the record, _perfect_ is overrated. Donna knows that… _Imperfect_ is much more interesting," she adds with a wink.

Harvey gives Scottie a half smile. "I'm sure there's a compliment in there somewhere."

"There is," she replies, crinkling her button nose until a wide smile forms on her face.

Harvey takes a final swig of his Macallan, waiting for the last drops to burn their way down. As he processes what Scottie had to say, he realizes she could have been a lot less kind.

"Scottie, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," he starts. "I'm not sure I ever properly apologized for what happened between us, but I want you to know that I am."

"I know, Harvey… It was never meant to be, I guess," she says, wistfully. "And if I were completely honest back then, I would have admitted to myself that you and Donna… you're meant to be together."

Harvey offers a sheepish glance. "You think so, huh?"

"Yeah, I do," she admits. "You two have a pretty tight bond. One that even _Mr. Perfect_ can't break."

With an appreciative nod, Harvey asks. "How about one more round, and you can tell me all about London?"

"I'd like that," she replies with a smile.

xxx

With his Monday morning coffee in hand, Harvey steps off the elevator and onto the 50th floor. After a week of tossing and turning, he's finally starting to feel like himself again. Drinks with Scottie was the last thing he ever thought would improve his mood. But it did.

"Morning, Harvey," Louis says, standing by reception. "Got a second? I need to see you and Samantha."

"Sure, Louis," Harvey replies, as he follows the managing partner into his corner office.

"Morning Samantha." Harvey greets the blonde lawyer, who's already seated. "So what's up?"

"Donna's not coming in today. She's not feeling well, so I need you both to handle a couple of important things," Louis directs.

"I guess we all need a mental health day every now and then," Samantha suggests, shooting a knowing glance in Harvey's direction. Ever since she came to the firm, the tension between Donna and Harvey has been painfully obvious to her. And last week, when the three of them ended up in the kitchen together, it was downright palpable.

"I take it I need to look over and finalize the expansion contract?" she asks.

"Yes, and papers need to be filed today," Louis confirms, handing Samantha the folder.

"Consider it done," she replies, as she leaves the room. "See you boys later."

Turning to Harvey, Louis instructs, "You need to meet with Wilson Manufacturing at eleven. It's a preliminary meeting with their VP. He's a grumpy bastard… Donna could have charmed him, so you're going to have to be on your best behaviour for this one."

Harvey lingers, slowly sipping his coffee, while Louis busily shuffles the files on his desk.

"Everything clear, Harvey?" Louis asks, pausing to look up at his colleague.

"Donna," he says. "Is she really sick? She's never sick."

"I know. I thought the same," he sighs. "I'm concerned about her to be honest. Something went down with Thomas last night. She sounded…. sad on the phone."

"She told me she needed space," Harvey says, his hands fidgeting in his pockets. "Hardly said a word to me all last week."

Louis can see the concern in Harvey's eyes.

"She'll come around," Louis assures. "If you really want this, you can't leave it to her to take the chance again."

"She wants space," Harvey counters. "I need to respect what she wants."

"You do," Louis agrees. "Be her friend, but don't push, Harvey. Show her that you want to be there for her anyway. You can do that."

Taking the file folder off the managing partner's desk, Harvey nods.

"Thanks, Louis."

xxx

It's midday and Harvey can't stand it any longer. He's taken his meetings, made his calls, finalized two important deals, and he also managed to charm that pain-in-the-ass VP.

But for every second in between, all he can think about is Donna.

Maybe he was too harsh on the rooftop? Maybe he hurt her feelings? Maybe she feels differently now?

Harvey grabs his overcoat and heads for the elevator bays.

 _Fuck it_.

xxx

Standing in her bathroom, Donna takes a long, hard, honest look at herself in the mirror. Her hand lightly traces her features – forehead, cheekbones, lips – she feels worn out and it's starting to show.

She didn't sleep a wink last night. The last time she felt this downhearted was after she stupidly kissed Harvey. What a mess. And for two months after, every night was a battle. Thoughts of their kiss and his rejection hitting her with each restless turn in the bed.

She's tried to move on from that with Thomas, but it's done now. There is no future with him. It's not like this is the first time, so she's not sure why she feels so bad about this one. Why this time feels like a complete failure as opposed to the rest? She's not sure.

Perhaps it's because, when those past relationship didn't last, she could still put on her office armour, check her personal life at the elevator, and bravely get herself through the day. Harvey wouldn't know any different and they could continue their dance.

But now... Thomas is gone, Harvey is waiting, and she's stuck.

Dressed in loose black yoga pants and a cream sweater, Donna pads over to the sofa, a piping hot cup of herbal tea in her hand. Wrapping herself in a throw, she reaches for her wallet and carefully unfolds the post-it notes.

 _And I always will._

 _We've always been a great team._

 _Two spring rolls because you always steal mine. I miss our dinners._

 _Always_ … Donna has to admit, Harvey has really put himself out there this time. That's a pretty loaded word. One that screams the past, present and future. It carries with it commitment and trust and forever.

Those thoughtful phrases on three pieces of paper, conveying more than he's ever been able to verbalize over the years.

Yes, he did say, "I love you". More than once. But these notes actually tell her more. Harvey is a lawyer and he understands the weight of the written word, of contracts. He didn't put this to paper knowing he could take it back. This is proof, evidence, exhibit A-type material.

She can picture him now, sitting at his desk, a black and gold Mont Blanc pen in his right hand. She wonders how many times he'd written on those sticky little yellow squares before settling on what to say. Struggling with meaning, scratching out letters, crumpling and then tossing his imperfect words away.

With a sigh, Donna puts the notes back in her wallet, when she hears a knock. Maybe Thomas has more to say.

Her tired eyes go wide as she rests her shoulder along the open door. "Harvey? What are you doing here?"

Dressed in his dark suit and tie, he's holding a small brown paper bag from its handles.

"I came to give you this," he says, handing it to Donna. She can tell he's uneasy. "Lemongrass soup from the Asian place near the office."

Reaching for it, Donna's mouth drops open. "Thank you, Harvey. That's really thoughtful… You didn't need to."

"Apparently this stuff is magic when you're feeling under the weather…" he says, trying to sound friendly and upbeat.

Donna looks tired, and Harvey can tell she's been crying. If he could just hold her and comfort her, he'd promise to never leave, to always be there for her.

"I know you wanted space, Donna, but Louis said you weren't feeling well and I... I just, um, wanted to make sure you were ok," he says, his shy eyes hiding the fact that his heart is thundering. "Are you ok?"

Donna tilts her head and offers Harvey an appreciative smile. "I will be."

Harvey nods, his hands nervously shifting in his pockets. He's not sure what do with himself.

 _Be her friend, but don't push._ Louis's words ringing in his ears.

"Ok… good…. Well, if you need anything… just call, ok?" he says, extending a gentle offer. "See you at work tomorrow?"

Donna nods appreciatively, and Harvey offers a restrained smile in return. She watches as he turns to slowly walk down the corridor.

Just as he's about to turn the corner, her words hit him like a bolt of lightning.

"I broke up with Thomas."

Harvey stops in his tracks, and immediately turns to look at her.

"Oh… are you ok?"

He's concerned, hopeful… and so God damn happy he can feel his heart swell.

"Do you want to come in?" she asks.


	5. Chapter 5

**IMPERFECT CHAPTER 5**

"Yes, Donna… I do," he whispers.

Her door is only a few paces away, yet he has no recollection of speaking… or moving. In that moment, with every purposeful step towards her, his hopeful gaze remains fixed on hers. Dark brown eyes calling to hazel ones.

If this were a movie, he'd be kissing her right now, he thinks. Here in her doorway. His arms solidly wrapped around, pressing his body against hers until neither could breathe. There'd be music playing and she'd brush her lips against his. He'd quickly close the door, thrusting their bodies against it. Then, with his mouth firmly on hers, he'd dance her into the bedroom.

"Do you want to talk about it…?" He's careful to ask, not wanting to push. By the time he reaches the threshold, his heart is pounding so loud he can hear it in his ears.

"No… it's over," she confirms. There's a hint of sadness in her voice. "There's nothing to talk about."

Harvey offers an understanding nod. He's relieved, actually. But he's not completely sure what she needs now. Stepping into the foyer, she closes the door behind him, and turns her weary face to his.

"Tired," he swallows, his eyes darting between her red-rimmed ones. "You're tired."

He's talking about more than today, and she knows it.

Letting out a long exhale, her arms drop to her sides. "I'm… tired of everything. I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

Harvey is unsettled. She invites him in, doesn't want to talk and she's tired of everything. Why is he here?

She's supposed to be angry, furious even, blaming him for ruining her relationship. "Damn you" and "Go to hell" and "You're an asshole" should be ringing in his ears right now.

"You haven't been sleeping," he guesses, furrowing his brow. There's no sparkle left in her eyes. At least, what he can see. She's barely looking at him now.

"No, I haven't," she agrees. With the soup in hand, Donna walks past him to lay the bag on her kitchen counter. Uncertain what to do next, Harvey follows.

"This is a first," he suggests, standing a few feet away, fidgeting fingers in his pockets.

"What?" she asks, with a sideways glance.

"We're playing hooky from school today," he replies, the corners of his mouth forming a tiny smile. "I haven't done that since ninth grade… skipped out for a new Star Trek movie."

"Star Trek, huh?" Donna responds flatly. Even though he handed that to her on a silver platter, she doesn't feel like witty banter right now.

"Learned a lot from Captain Kirk," he kids, trying to get a conversation going. "Probably why I got into Harvard."

Donna offers a half-hearted chuckle. She's not sure what she's doing, but she knows she needs him here. If, for no other reason than to convince herself that saying good-bye to Thomas was the right thing to do.

Harvey doesn't understand what's happening. They've never had to make small talk before, and he's beginning to wonder if this is some sort of test. He can deflect and do defensive. Even yell if he has to. But this?

Donna hasn't eaten all day. As she struggles to remove the soup container from the bag, Harvey can see that she's becoming increasingly frustrated.

"Can I make a suggestion?" he asks, clearing his throat. He feels the need to do something, to show her something. So he puts his hand on the bag, encouraging her to stop. "You're tired, Donna… Since I'm here… let me do this, ok? Let me… take care of you?"

Too tired to reject the offer, Donna gives him a brief nod. She makes her way to the sofa and drops down in defeat.

Harvey follows, retrieving the throw that's next to her.

"May I?" he asks, holding up the blanket.

Donna nods again, and he moves to cover her with it. She's perfectly still and perfectly quiet, but Harvey feels the heat of her gaze as he gently tucks it in around her. At first, he doesn't look her in the eye, but focuses on the task at hand. But when he pulls back, he pauses just long enough for her to take a good look at his face. She doesn't want to talk, and that's ok, but he needs her to read his eyes. He's sorry and he's ready and he loves her.

When he's this close, there's a definite masculine energy about Harvey that's palpable. And it's more than the intoxicating scent of his cologne that causes a stirring below. It's in the broadness of his shoulders as he carefully tucks the blanket around her. In the squareness of his jaw, the precision of his haircut and in that five o'clock shadow that appears at the end of a long day. It's in the blackness of his pupils that swallow her whole when his eyes zero in, just like he's doing right now. And it's the shape his mouth takes when he offers her the tiniest smile.

Donna wonders if this may just be nothing more than sexual attraction. What if they cross this line they've been dancing along, and he changes his mind?

Stepping back, Harvey takes off his jacket and neatly folds it across the back of the sofa. He loosens his tie and rolls up his sleeves.

"You rest," he says, that same tiny smile reappearing. "I'm about to make a mess in your kitchen."

Glancing back, he catches Donna looking both amused and irritated. "You're reheating soup, Harvey. This isn't Thanksgiving dinner."

"Well, you'll still be thankful when I bring it," he quips, grateful that she's actually talking now.

Donna rests her head and closes her eyes. She can hear Harvey puttering away in the back, clanging pots, dropping utensils and cursing. She's worn out, but she can't help but smile at his incompetence. The man clearly survives on take-out and delivery.

Fifteen minutes later, Harvey proudly walks out with a tray of hot soup and crackers, grapes, cheese, and club soda with a wedge of lime. Considering the little time Donna spends at home, he's impressed with how well stocked her fridge is. He can't help but wonder if it's because of recent nights in with Thomas.

As Harvey approaches, he sees the mess of red hair across the sofa arm. Donna is curled up and fast asleep under the throw. Placing the tray on the dining room table, he draws the curtains, and quietly takes a seat at the opposite end of the sofa.

She's tired of everything and he's tired of running.

So while she sleeps, he'll sit.

XXX

It's two hours before she stirs, and Harvey doesn't dare move. Donna's long legs stretched out now, her pedicured feet finding their way onto his lap. He was quick to cover them with his suit jacket, so she wouldn't get cold.

Harvey also tries to nap, but, apparently, it's just not possible with an elevated heart rate. It doesn't help that every time he glances at her, he's overwhelmed. Even at rest, she's so God damn beautiful, he thinks. Her delicate features and fiery hair. Those thick eyelashes and that expressive mouth. Her petite frame that rises and falls with every drowsy breath.

Harvey shakes his head. He's so frustrated with himself for taking this long with Donna. After finally admitting his feelings, he's now hanging on for dear life, and he's still not completely sure why she even let him in. But like Scottie told him, it's never as simple as an "I love you," not when the feelings run this deep. So he patiently waits to follow her lead.

For the better part of two hours, Harvey scrolls his phone and responds to emails, to cover off his absence from the office. Then he finds the magazines on Donna's coffee table.

Hair and makeup, fitness and weight loss, recipes and relationship advice. Women's lives are definitely more complicated, he decides. So he turns his attention to an issue of _Architectural Digest_.

He's flipping through pages, when the sudden shift of her feet off his lap tells him that she's awake.

"I didn't take you for a magazine reader," she says, her voice sleepy. "Let alone, architecture."

"It was either this, or the 'top-five fashion must-haves for spring'," he teases, earning him a sleepy smile from the beautiful red head.

"There's an article here on Michael's Chicago mansion," he says, holding up the publication. "I was thinking about how you charmed him into signing with me."

"I remember," she says, as she slowly props herself up, her hair curling around her face. "You were mad that I was in your office… until you saw that signed basketball."

Harvey chuckles at the memory, the laugh lines forming around his eyes. "Those were good times, weren't they?"

"They were," Donna nods, the tiredness still in her voice. "Sorry I fell asleep… You didn't have to stay."

"And leave you? No, Donna… feeling better?" he asks, his shy eyes can't help but adore her.

"Yes, a little…" she says, grateful she didn't wake up alone.

"Good," he replies. 'I'll reheat the soup..."

Donna doesn't respond. Instead she forces an nervous exhale. Harvey senses there's something on her mind, so he waits.

"Did you mean what you said?" she asks, her eyes narrowing in on his. "What you said a few weeks ago… Did you mean it?"

Harvey tosses the magazine onto the coffee table and turns his body towards her.

"Every word," he responds, without missing a beat.

She's finally ready to talk and so is he.

Harvey's posture is relaxed now, his arm open and extended across the back of the sofa.

"Ask me anything, Donna, I'm right here."

This is new for him. He knows it and so does she.

"Why did you reject me? When I kissed you…?"

 _Wow, she's fast out of the gate,_ he thinks.

Eyebrows raised in surprise, he's carefully considering his words now. The aftermath of that kiss is an open wound he's desperate to heal.

"Donna… what I felt when we kissed… I didn't know what to do. I was in a relationship and in love… with you." he admits. "So, I pushed you away… not because I didn't feel anything, but because of how much I felt... I handled it badly, and every day since I've regretted it. I shouldn't have let you leave. I should have been honest… I'm sorry."

"So what's changed then?" she pushes. Her back pressed against the sofa arm.

"I know that my love for you is stronger than my fear of anything else," he says, with a confidence and maturity that catches her off guard. Clearly, his sessions with Lipschitz have been making a difference.

"How do I know you're not going to change your mind?" She struggles to let this one pass her lips. Her biggest fear laid bare now.

"Because I promise, that's why." She interrogates his face in search of even the tiniest hint of doubt, but there isn't any.

"If anything, my feelings have grown, Donna," he adds.

"What if things get too emotional and you run away again?" They've been through this scenario enough times now. There's no moving forward without addressing this, and they both know it.

"Never gonna happen again," Harvey confirms, while shifting closer. He's determined that his actions match his words.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I don't want to run from my feelings anymore. I'm not running now, am I?"

Donna furrows her brow. This is a lot to take in. But if they have any hope of a future together, everything that's been buried needs to see the light of day.

"What do you want, Harvey?" That's a question that's forever rattled her brain.

"What I've always wanted, but was too afraid to admit, Donna… more, everything, you." He nudges a little closer.

"What else do you want?" Sensing his movement, she pulls her knees to her chest, and wraps her arms around them.

"Everything that you want," he confirms.

"That's not an answer, Harvey… and you don't know what I want," she says, brushing the hair away from her face, as if to match his confidence.

"Yes I do," he counters.

"Really? And what do I want?" Donna challenges with a tilt of her head.

"Everything that I want… you with me… always."

Donna catches her breath. _That word._

She tries to calm the butterflies that he's now awakened. They're flying wild inside of her, spinning and circling and making her dizzy. It's not Harvey's words that affect her so much as the confidence with which he's expressing them.

Harvey isn't running and they're not fighting.

"What if we fight?" It's bound to happen, she figures.

"Then, we'll make up."

"What if we can't agree?" She knows they rarely see things the same way.

"Then, we'll compromise."

"What if your feelings change?" She's determined to cover all the bases, now and in the future.

"I told you, they've only grown."

"What if..."

Harvey interrupts her. "Donna... Do you love me?"

The question is a bolt out of the blue. Never in a million years, did she imagine Harvey would ask her that. As much as she wants to let the words fall out of her mouth, she's not ready to say them out loud… so, she nods.

There is nothing but relief on Harvey's face, but looking at hers, he knows there's more work to do.

"I've been crying a lot lately," she admits, glancing at him through damp eyelashes.

"I know…" he says, inching closer.

"I'm scared... petrified." Her voice quivering, and tears pooling once again.

"Me too," he acknowledges.

"Harvey, if this doesn't work, I don't think I can…"

He interrupts her again. "I won't let it happen."

He's determined to fix this, so he asks, "What do you need from me, Donna?"

 _What do you need_ … his question takes her right back to that Saturday in his apartment. She had asked him that, but not to be helpful, to make a point. He took a risk that day. It was a leap of faith on his part, but she angrily twisted his words, rejecting the possibility that he could ever have something worthy to offer her.

Harvey would have been well within his rights to give up then. She was with Thomas, and he had every reason to let go. But he's still here, and now he's asking her.

"I need to feel…" she hesitates. "…sure… about this… about you."

They're sitting a foot apart now, and Harvey reaches for Donna's hand. Although his movement is cautious, his heart is recklessly pounding. She sees what he's doing, but still flinches when his fingers take hers and his thumb caresses her palm. There is so much honesty in his touch, that she wants to cry.

With a tender tug of her hand, he pulls her in. His protective arms hold her still while his breath warms her neck. She can't help but fall into him now. She's tired of fighting and tired of everything they used to be. She knows she wants more, but it takes on a different meaning now. More is a new and better them.

Harvey keeps a firm hold. He has no reason to run, and he's determined that she's going to believe it. Once Donna's head rests on his shoulder, he can feel the healing between them. With every breath shared, he sees the broken pieces falling back into place. So he stays here, inhaling, exhaling, until every lie and unspoken word and missed opportunity finds its way home.

Donna is afraid to move. Afraid that this could all change on a dime. So she holds on to the feeling for as long as possible. Then, clearing her throat, she's set to pull away, but he refuses. So she falls back in. Her breathing is more relaxed this time. He's not going anywhere. She can feel it coursing in her veins and through the weakness that teases her legs.

"And if you need reminding," he whispers, as if to answer that one final question she's secretly kept tucked away. "I have a drawer full of post-it notes, and I'm not afraid to use them."

Harvey can feel her smile sitting at the base of his neck. It tickles his skin and forces heat between his legs. But he wants more than an embrace. He wants more, period. Hearts and hands and mouths. Skin on skin. Good morning and good night. I love you's and always and I do's.

Placing his hand on the back of her head, he's set to hold her steady, to find her mouth.

"I'm sorry I didn't call on your birthday…" Donna says, pulling back. Her eyes pooling with regret. "I was angry… and hurt."

"It's ok, Donna," he says optimistically, while trying to clear the pictures in his head. "There's always next year."

Donna tilts her head and looks him over. Fourteen years, fourteen birthdays and they're still here.

"I do have something for your birthday, though…" she says, the sparkle returning to her eyes. "Would you like it now or later?"

"Whatever you like," he says. He's not sure what it might be… he doesn't recall seeing cake in the fridge.

"Now is good," she suggests. "But you have to close your eyes."

Harvey obliges. Maybe it's another silly party hat, so he's willing to play along.

"Take a deep breath and make a wish," she instructs, just as she's insisted every other time.

A deep breath? There are definitely candles, he imagines.

But before he can even exhale, her warms hands gently take hold of his face. He has no chance to react when he feels the softest lips brush across his. Eyes still obediently closed, Harvey shivers. Sliding his tongue over his bottom lip, he can taste how much she wants this, and he's left helpless to welcome every new sensation that explodes inside of him.

First, it's a jolt of electricity that causes his hands to ball into fists. Then, when her adventurous fingers tease his hair, he loses his breath. Finally, the blood gushing down to his groin forces his eyes to roll back into his head.

Donna is unrelenting. She's kissing him more deeply now, but it's not hurried. She's not in a rush. This is a birthday gift, after all. It needs to last.

And like a child, the birthday boy can't wait to unwrap his present. The intensity of her mouth on his elicits a moan that has him begging for more. His chest is rising and falling at lightspeed now, his heart thundering like a summer storm.

"I love you," he mumbles into her mouth. His hands weave their way through her hair, just like he imagined late last night, and dreamt of dozens of nights before that.

 _Oh my God, Donna._ He hasn't even opened his eyes yet.

When he's finally forced to see the daylight, the both of them in need of a breath, Harvey's pupils shine as black as coal. Donna bites her lip, her mouth tingling with the taste he's left. Her hands are back to warming his face now, and caressing his features, as if to ensure he's real.

Harvey wants to speak, to find the right words to express his adoration. He always thought, if this moment were ever to happen, that he would have something smart or insightful or witty to tell her. But he doesn't. His imperfect words simply pale in comparison to the depth of his feelings.

"You kissed me…" is all his shaky mouth can voice. But it's his carefree smile that says it all. A wide grin that finds its way to his eyes.

"I guess I still needed to know," she whispers, her arms falling to his shoulders. "Happy Birthday, Harvey."

With her gaze firmly locked on his, Donna moves to stand. Harvey's eyes grow wide as she reaches for his hands.

"Donna?"

"I think you know, Harvey," she says. With a gentle tug, she leads him into the bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

**IMPERFECT CHAPTER 6**

 **Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story as well as those of you who offered reviews. I've appreciated them all. I hope this story has given you a perfectly imperfect Darvey fix when you've needed one. Just an FYI... this chapter is a little M rated, maybe only a small m's worth! But still some! Until my next fic... xoxo**

"No… wait, Donna," he says, pulling her back by the hand, the gentle tug catching her by surprise. "We're not done… There are things I need to know..."

Her extended arm is taut like a tether between them. Donna stops and turns to face Harvey.

"I'm sorry… I didn't think… you seemed so sure," she apologizes. A Harvey Specter who wants to talk things out is going to take some getting used to.

Harvey has expressed more to her today than he ever has, so it's going to take time to fully process the weight of his words. Yes, she was leading him to the bedroom. But given their years together, and after everything they've confessed, making love felt like the most natural thing to do. As if their hearts have long been expecting this, and their minds have finally caught up.

Harvey meets her with a shy smile before pulling her in for a gentle kiss of his own. She'd done the same minutes earlier. And even though she beat him to it, he's determined to show her himself.

Fingertips searching his face, her mouth seeking his… he's got to admit, that was quite the birthday surprise. One for the history books. But, this time, he really did want to be the one to kiss her first. To state his intentions and seal his words with a formal declaration. To show her he could be the affectionate and loving man she'd hoped he would be.

But when it comes to matters of the heart, Donna has always been one step ahead. She took a chance that night in her office and, long ago, when he showed up unannounced, she was the one ready and waiting with a can of fun.

Even so, to show her, Harvey makes a point of kissing her back on his own accord, and he's savouring every second of it. The wetness of her warm mouth on his is just about the greatest thing he's ever felt. Lips intimately locked together, a perfect fit. Tasting and sucking and wanting. They fall into an easy rhythm, their connection as natural as breathing.

When Harvey reaches for her, everything around Donna goes blurry, leaving her to rely on other senses to capture the moment. His deep breathing and manly scent, the sweetness of his tongue and the way his neck muscles flex under her fingers because he's determined to get closer.

As Harvey slowly pulls back, he takes stock of his heart. There's purpose in every beat. Relief and hope and an overwhelming love. Until now, a future with this amazing woman, with this love he's carried for so long, was the stuff of dreams… a lot of dreams. Yet here he is, breathing into her, their bodies inseparable. Just. Like. That.

Harvey slowly guides Donna back to sitting on the sofa. His head bowed and Adam's apple bobbing. He's nervous.

"Ok, I'm right here…" she smiles sweetly, sensing his anxiousness. "What do you need to know, Harvey?"

"Donna…" he swallows, a swell of feelings from that fateful night, caught in his throat. "After you kissed me… I told you I felt something…"

Donna's eyes are wide with anticipation. Her stomach suddenly clenches with guilt at the memory of the bold and spontaneous move that nearly ruined their friendship.

"You said you didn't…feel anything…" His words cautious as they leave his mouth. "Why did you say that, if you did?"

There's a sadness in Donna's eyes when he brings up their painful fight in the lobby. In all her years with Harvey, she considers it one of the lowest points between them. She would even say that the aftermath of that kiss and the harsh words spoken, left her feeling traumatized.

"You were really angry…," she says, quietly. She's struggling to get the words out, the burn of his rejection simmering just under her skin. "You said you didn't want more so… I lied… to make it easier for you and Paula… and for me."

Harvey hangs his head, realizing for the first time, the full weight his issues have had on her. "You did that?" he asks, glancing up. "Why didn't you tell me the truth after it was over with her?"

"What difference would it have made? I felt everything when we kissed, but then you said… " There's a quiver, a weakness in her voice now. "I knew I wanted you in my life no matter what... so I lied."

His thumbs are massaging her palms now, trying to relax the tension he can feel as her fingers stiffen.

"But then you left, you resigned." Harvey is confused. Donna's eyes quickly dart away.

"Ok… what is it? Worry veils his face. "Just tell me."

With a deep exhale, Donna begins.

"I'm not sure if you know this, but I went to see Paula…" she admits. Harvey blinks with surprise. "To apologize, and to ask her to reconsider, because you wanted a relationship and I wanted to keep my job."

Harvey leans back and tenses his jaw. He had no idea. "What did she say?"

"She refused," Donna replies, catching her breath. That visit to Paula's was humiliating. "I wanted you to be happy, and I didn't want you to be forced choose, so I thought me leaving would be for the best."

Harvey closes his eyes and shakes his head. Paula was clearly not the person he thought her to be, and certainly not the person Donna is. "I chose you…," he says, his eyes starting to mist. "I couldn't admit it then, but it's always been more than work between us, more than friendship…much more... The truth is, when you said you wanted more, I was afraid that didn't include me. And Paula…that was my reaction. It was a big mistake."

There's a wave of emotion rolling inside her now. Donna can feel its rawness stirring her stomach and rushing through her veins. This entire afternoon, Harvey in her apartment, caring for her, and needing to talk. She's overcome.

"I won't lie, Harvey," Donna admits, choking out the words. "That really hurt me… I don't even want to think about it anymore…I need it to be over… Can we just focus on now?"

Harvey nods, and with a sigh, he agrees, "Yes, I'm sorry, Donna…. Look, I know I haven't always said the right things…. And I've done a lot of the wrong things. But what's always felt right is us..."

He pauses, his eyes searching hers, hopeful that with all his imperfections, his honesty will be enough.

 _If you're honest with her, really honest, she'll believe you._ Harvey is banking on Louis's words today.

"Do you think…?" he hesitates, furrowing his brow. "Do you think you could ever believe in me to be the kind of man you need?"

Donna presses her lips together, trying to hold back this second wave that's already building. This time, it's thick in her throat and swelling inside her nostrils. It's been an emotional twenty-four hours and she just can't seem to stop crying.

This is an ache she's managed to control over the years. This love and desire and longing for Harvey. A sea of emotions that pounds daily against the fortified wall she'd built around her heart. Now, his words and the honesty in his touch are poking holes. Her heart being swept away with the flood that's made its way in.

"More tears?" Harvey says, his thumb casting them away.

"Happy tears," she whispers. "I do trust you, Harvey. I've always trusted you, more than anyone. You've always been that man to me…"

"Good," he whispers back, his mouth curling into a gentle smile. "Because I'm not going anywhere."

"I guess I'm a bit of a work in progress too…" she softly chuckles. "I haven't always made it easy for you either."

"No, you haven't," he playfully agrees with soft tilt of his head. "But I'm a better man because of you. I wouldn't be that without you."

Donna bites her lip as she glances at him through thick lashes. "Thank you, Harvey."

"Donna…" He's clearing his throat now, enlarged pupils affectionate and wanting. "Whatever you're unsure of, whatever doubts… I'm yours… I just need you to now that."

"Harvey…" she says, her voice so soft that he instinctively leans in. "I love you, too."

A wide grin lights up Harvey's face. It teases out the dimples in his cheeks and the laugh lines around his dark brown eyes. "Finally!" he chuckles, leaning in for another kiss. This time, it's his hands on her face, thumbs tracing her lips and fingers drawing her in.

"Show me…" Her eyes closed, she whispers into his mouth.

That's the moment his chest swells. When he feels the physical pounding of his heart against his ribcage. Once again, she's one step ahead. But it doesn't matter. He's going to show her just how very much in love Harvey Specter is with Donna Paulsen. And she's never going to forget it.

This time, he's the first to his feet, his hands lifting her to standing. Every step anointed with a kiss or a touch or a smile, until her back is to the door.

With an arm firmly wrapped around her and their mouths unwavering, Harvey slowly turns the knob. They fall in past the threshold as if it were a right of passage. Moving from unspoken words to open hearts, from friends to lovers and from this moment to a promise of always.

Donna can feel Harvey's chest rise and fall against hers. Pulling away for a breath, she recognizes a shyness in the blackness of his pupils.

"Are you nervous?" she asks.

"A little," he admits, his face flush. Harvey looks away, his eyes zeroing in on the perfectly made bed before him. If it weren't for her arms around his waist and her breath on his neck, he'd be certain this was one of a thousand fantasies that's teased him over the last fourteen years.

"I'm not sure you understand…" he tries to explain.

"I think I do," she interrupts, her eyes gentle on his. "I'm… nervous, too…"

Hearing this from her, something takes over. That instinctual need to take care of her, to make her feel secure and to never give her a single reason to doubt.

"You have me, Donna… always."

Harvey is so focused on pleasing her, that he doesn't notice the plum-coloured fingernails teasing his shirt. Her wanting gaze never leaving his, she slowly loosens his necktie. Hands delicately taunting the silk, tugging and sliding it apart until it hits the floor.

It's not lost on Harvey how many times, over the years, they've stood exactly like this. She, just inches away, her hands fixing and perfecting his tie before trial. Yes, they had their pre-trial ritual, that silly can opener, but this is what gave him real confidence. Her hands on his chest, her gaze certain and a faithful smile that assured him there was nothing he couldn't do.

Spending the afternoon with Donna, Harvey has already gone casual, his sleeves rolled and top button undone. But she's playing with the rest now. One button, two button, three… and then his bare skin. He flinches as her warm mouth finds its way down his sternum. He wants to help, to encourage her, so he begins to unbutton the rest.

"Don't," she breathes into his chest, her hands untucking his shirt from his trousers. Instead, his obedient hands find their way to her waist, fingertips outlining the curve of her hips and tugging at her sweater. Four, five, six, and she slides her arms beneath the tailored fabric. Palms flat against his bare back, cotton top pressed against his open front, and he's breathless.

Her wet mouth and tongue tasting him, her gentle hands and fingers awakening his skin. This time, it's not a jolt of electricity so much as a deep shiver that arouses his most sensitive parts, and forces his knees to go weak.

The urge comes so fast and hard that he can't fight it any longer. Harvey walks her back to the edge of the bed, and by the time they meet the mattress, he's shirtless.

They're lying together now, inches apart, as Harvey's hand explores the soft skin beneath her cream sweater. First, he runs his fingers across her ribcage, and then carefully outlines her breast, teasing and taunting her, until her mouth begs for more.

They both revel at this closeness, this intimacy that their bodies have been craving for too long. Donna welcomes the heat radiating from his bare chest now and urges him closer. With a determined inhale she takes him in. Harvey smells like.. well… Harvey. Cedar, sandalwood and a manly warmth that takes her back to that night long ago. It's familiar and intoxicating and uniquely him.

She's breathing heavy now and so is he. But she doesn't want to rush this. She wants to celebrate every touch and capture every moment. In pulling back for a breath, Donna notices the water pooling in Harvey's eyes.

"Everything, ok?" she asks, her hand rubbing circles across his back.

"I just…" he whispers. "I just love you, Donna."

She sits up, her eyes asking for more. Harvey pulls her sweater up and over her head, his eyes worshipping and his hands caressing her face.

"You're… so beautiful." He's immediately drawn to the pink and white lace across her chest. Yes, he's very much physically attracted to Donna, but, more than that, he's grateful to be given this chance. To know that this amazing woman, his best friend and confidante, thinks that he's worthy and deserving of her love, is everything.

The adoration in Harvey's eyes reaches deep inside her now, scattering the butterflies in her stomach and forcing a sudden heat between her thighs. Just this one look from him and she's on fire. But beyond that, Donna does feel beautiful when Harvey looks at her. Something about the way he sees her makes her feel that way.

To be desired by the man of your dreams is one of the greatest feelings Donna has ever experienced.

"Come here, my love," she encourages, her hands unbuckling his belt.

"I'm here, Donna," he assures, leaning over her. "I'm definitely here."

xxx

It's early evening and Donna releases a long and relaxed exhale. There's no need for explanations now. Anything that wasn't said aloud has been clearly expressed, and very much to her satisfaction.

Still breathless, Harvey lies back, his arm embracing her slender frame. Red hair tickling his chest, he can't hold Donna close enough. His glistening body still vibrating from what she's done to him, not just physically, but emotionally.

Maybe it's all the therapy or just the love of a good woman, but Harvey has never before felt this hopeful about his future. His fears replaced by excitement. The loneliness that followed him home each night is now a thing of the past.

Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he checks in.

"Are you ok?" he asks, his cheek now resting on her head.

"That's not a serious question, is it?" she teases, as she lovingly gazes up at him with drowsy eyes. "You …umm… sure know how to make a girl feel loved, Harvey."

"Only you," he clarifies, sounding relieved.

"Sooo…" he begins, biting his lower lip. Harvey is back to feeling shy. "We're together now, right? This is official?"

Sensing his insecurity, Donna props herself up to face him, her red locks falling around her bare shoulders.

"For me, yes, but… ," she challenges. "We haven't really talked much about the future… maybe we should?

"You're all I want, Donna….the rest we'll figure out," he confirms.

"Can I just say, this confidence you have in us is quite a turn on," she teases, while leaning in with a soft kiss.

Harvey is quiet, and Donna can tell he's got something on his mind.

"Marry me." The words unexpectedly fall out of his mouth, and Donna pulls back as her eyes go wide.

"Harvey…?" Her heart begins to race. For years, she's dreamt about this, but not in this way. "We just… we're just…" Donna doesn't even know what to say.

"I don't mean today or tomorrow… but one day... not too far down the road, maybe?" he suggests. "That's the future I want with you… marriage and…"

"A family?" She's always been one for completing his sentences.

Harvey swallows because Donna has talked at length about her career, but never about having children. In all fairness, he hasn't either. It's a topic they've never touched on, not even casually over drinks.

"Yes..." he whispers. He's hopeful. "Unless that's not something you want… we've never talked about it before."

"Well, you've never asked," she replies, a wide grin now making its way across her face. In the deepest parts of her heart, Donna always knew Harvey was the man she thought him to be. Kind and loyal, with a heart full of love to give.

"To be married and have a family with you?" Her eyes are once again glassy. "I can't believe you just asked me that."

"Yes?"

"Yes, Harvey, yes." She giggles, her head, once again, comfortable on his chest. "And I promise I'll act surprised when you ask me."

"I just asked you," he teases.

"You call that a proposal?" she quips. "I don't recall any heartfelt confessions or shiny jewelry being handed out."

"I'll promise you this, Donna," he confides. "There'll definitely be a ring. And it will be gorgeous and special and one-of-a-kind… just like you."

"Harvey…" Donna says, her voice soft now. Grateful that she's found her way into his arms. "You've really thought about this, haven't you?"

"I have," he acknowledges, looking down at her. "For a long time now…"

"We have so much to look forward to, don't we?" Donna has never been so excited to see the days and months unfold before her.

"And speaking of the future," he adds. "Did you really mean it when you said you'd hire a stripper for my fiftieth birthday?"

Donna can't help but giggle. "You'll just have to stick around to find out," she says, a mischievous smile making its way across her face.

"What about my sixtieth?" he teases, his fingers running gentle circles up her arm.

"Two strippers," she laughs. "Definitely, two strippers."

"Seventieth?" He's curious now.

"Three strippers and a heart monitor," she jokes.

Harvey bursts out laughing. Leaning back, he takes a good look at this remarkable woman lying in his arms. No matter his age, he'll never, ever feel old being with Donna.

He's also looking forward to his next birthday. Yes, he'll keep the cheesy greeting card and wear a tinsel hat and eat that terrible piece of corner store cake covered in melted candle wax.

And... as long as the love of his life surprises him with a birthday kiss, just like she did today, it will all be worth it.

 ** _\- THE END -_**


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